Two generations back, before forty-eight, Wilfred asked Mary Hall out on a date. Little did she know, and nobody guessed From that moment on their union was blessed. They plighted their troth, (an old-fashioned phrase) And swore to be faithful the rest of their days. Willie solemnly promised, in front of the preacher, What Mary needed to know, of the dairy, he'd teach her. We're here at Granny's Singing with old friends and new Raising our glasses in honor of you And the house will remember this too "I can't promise to keep you in ermine and silk, But I do guarantee we won't run out of milk. And high on that hill a new home I'll be built in I'll make it a big one, in case we have children. The years started passing, along came son Randy, And Will began his daily habit of candy. Then Rick came, and Jan, Scott, Dedee and Kim, Hopes of them stopping production seemed slim Until Mary remembered, to the Bible she went And adapted a phrase from the Old Testament "Six times shalt thou labor, and then take a rest" She quotes to Willie, "I've given by best." We're here at Granny's Singing with old friends and new We raise our glasses in honor of you And the house will remember this too Their kids went to school, half a mile down the road. So Willie decided to shoulder the load And run for trustee, a responsible Dad, He's been there 35 years, (dedicated or mad?) For several years things were quiet, then darn it They hired a teacher whose first name was Garnet. The board had a hearing, where Willie presided And on national T.V., the trustees decided To hire a replacement. To come to the point, They fired Ms. Brennan for smoking a joint. We're here at Granny's Being silly with friends old and new Raising our glasses in honor of you And the house will remember this too Willie still sprays the thistles, they make him so sick it, Led to him getting a one hundred buck ticket. And they still have their poker, and New Year's Eve parties, And family feasts, for that's where their heart is. Plus trips to Will's cousins, way up in Seattle, Where he can forget all about those damned cattle. Look at them now, amid family and friends The couple upon whom our community depends. So I raise up my glass, and I drink me a toast, To the couple with class, we love you the most. We're here at Granny's Being silly with old friends and new We raise our glasses in honor of you And the house will remember this too

You and me apart Not together Maybe start — let's try again Sing to me And you want universes Where life is fair, right? Or wrong, no? There's truth in love, always Will you? You will always love In truth there's no wrong or right Fair is life where Universes want you and me to sing Again, try: let's start Maybe together, Not apart Me and you

if i gave myself a chance to look back on my life i would see your reflection in my eyes but now the mirror is tarnished and i can’t see all the gifts in the past you’ve given me i could go on and follow the vision of the one i turned away There’s a light at the end of the tunnel but I’m headed in the opposite way Objects in the mirror Are farther than they appear There’s a light at the end of the tunnel but I’m headed in the opposite way if i gave you a chance you could be in my life but i am too easily blinded by your brilliant light oh something about hope scares me to death I could go on but I won't It doesn’t make any sense i could go on and follow the vision of the one i turned away There’s a light at the end of the tunnel but I’m headed in the opposite way Objects in the mirror Are farther than they appear There’s a light at the end of the tunnel but I’m headed in the opposite way

I'll follow your footsteps in the snow, Call my name, and I'll go, trusting you to know the way I'll follow you, follow you home Sometimes the thunderstorms roll through Dark as night at high noon And it pours so hard I can't see you But I know, I know you're still there I'll follow the sound of your voice through the night When I hear you say it's all right, I know it's true So I'll follow, I'll follow you Dreams are twisty, tricky things Nightmares spread their wings sometimes over our bed And you wake and call my name in a cold sweat Honey, let me be your light I'm here and everything will be all right, you know I love you Follow me, follow me home

You say that there's no destiny Life has no logic nor sense There's only serendipity And some times coincidence Well then explain to me: If life's so quick to hinder How can it be That we met on Tinder?

I moved out to Area 50 desert sun, the air is crispy but right next door is Area 51 and it's too late to get a refund alien saucers flying around all night screeching noises and flashing lights I wish they would just keep it down extraterrestrial playground CHORUS: flyin saucers overhead litttle green critters in my shed peace and quiet is what I crave my eyes are ringing my ears are glazed got earplugs and blackout shades but it's as loud as a freight train living here is my one regret haven't found the upside yet I called up the United Nations I said it's an abomination their excuses were perverse they only deal with nations here on this earth

I had a dream last night That felt like a cartoon I was on my way to Mars With a layover on the moon The captain wore a mask No, wait, he was a raccoon! And his friend, the flight attendant I’m pretty sure was a baboon There was no place to sit You would hop on a cocoon And for the soundtrack A girl played the bassoon — hit it! Come with me, my love I'll pick you up on the moon But please don't be late Cause this ship is leaving soon I'll buy you a ring in Saturn And sing you a happy tune And take you to the stars For our honeymoon I waited for you at the dock The ship would leave by noon I was scared you wouldn't come It was almost afternoon! I finally saw your brown red eyes And heard the call from your loon You ran quickly with your backpack Climbing up the dune You embraced me as we boarded And we left the rocky moon The ship took off so quickly That we both began to swoon Come with me, my love We have left the good old moon We’re leaving for the stars With luck we’ll arrive in June I’ll buy you a ring in Saturn And sing you a happy tune And take you to the stars For our honeymoon As we approached Jupiter We heard a very loud boom The captain fired the alarm There was panic in the saloon We looked outside the window And we saw a space balloon Big as a blue whale And sporting a harpoon It approached our ship menacingly Lead by an angry goon Followed closely by a dozen Or more in a platoon Come with me, my love Let's run back to the moon We will survive today And life is such a boon I'll buy you a ring in Venus And sing you an ok tune Let's just stare at the stars For our honeymoon But as we made our prayers In a soft hushed croon A wind blew from the west Bringing in a strong typhoon Alas we had forgotten It was the season of the monsoon! The evil attacking pirate Got dragged in his balloon Swirling hastily out of control He seemed bound to meet his doom He crashed onto a comet And was stranded as a maroon Come with me, my love Let's rescue that old goon No one deserves to die Even if they’re inopportune I’ll buy you a ring on Earth And sing you a happy tune The reward for that pirate Will cover our honeymoon Then my dream came to an end Nothing more than a lampoon A tale of ridicule Conjured by a buffoon But today I just found In the pocket of my pantaloons A small part of the reward A heavy gold doubloon! As I looked out of my window I saw familiar eyes maroon Landing a ship to pick me up It was you and the space racoon! Come with me my love I'll pick you up on the moon But please don't be late Cause this ship is leaving soon I'll buy you a ring in Saturn And sing you a happy tune And take you to the stars For our honeymoon

I'm not gonna be your savior but I want you to do me a favor give me just a little bit of your love cuz you know it comes from up above CHORUS: You gonna give me what you got and baby you know, you got a lot I'm gonna be your friend and a little bit more come on baby you know the score ain't gonna buy you a diamond ring but you gonna give me everything I'm gonna be your paramour you know you one day gonna even up the score when I saw you walking down the street I said that's a girl I got to meet you know one day you gonna walk away but that won't be today